Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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