Jerry, you need to find god
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
