It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
