help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
