just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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