Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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