Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let's get the cat blown out
I see more hoeing in ur future
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
