so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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