Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
God I need to hump something, right now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
