There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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