Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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