I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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