sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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