I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize