He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
