So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
sarcasm needs its own font
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
