Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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