woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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