Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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