So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
