i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
