Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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