I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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