I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
