this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
