Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize