i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
