if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
