I'm gonna have a badass scar
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think my fart just growled at me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
