meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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