After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
