After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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