we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
