thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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