Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
do herpes really smell.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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