32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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