my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
