At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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