UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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