he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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