Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize