Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize