The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
