she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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