I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
