??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
