Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
