So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
