: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
