worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize
