i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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