This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
3pm strippers are depressing
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
