I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
