How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
