I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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