Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
