you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
