If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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